


Greendale's Own Dynamic Duo!

by havisham



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Community
Genre: Costumes, Crime Fighting, For the Win, Gen, Greendale doesn't have gargoyles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-05
Updated: 2012-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-28 23:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/313401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Be my Robin, Troy. I know you’re not an orphan. Or an acrobat. Or an at-risk youth. Or a rich genius. But we can make it work.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Greendale's Own Dynamic Duo!

**Author's Note:**

> Batman needs a Robin.

“Okay, but why can’t I be Nightwing? Why do I have to be Robin?”

“Nightwing is something you have to earn. You pay your dues, and then become Nightwing.” Abed sat — perched — awkwardly on the foot of Troy’s bed. Troy frowned, as he tried to get things sorted out.

“You didn’t have to pay any dues when you _got_ to be Batman.”

Abed closed off. _If you don’t want to play, fine, but don’t bring the whole situation down with you_ , he seemed to say. Troy sighed. He eyed the costume uneasily. “Where do you get an adult sized Robin costume on such short notice?”

(What a silly question.)

“Internet,” they said together.

"I thought Nolan doesn't even want to use Robin." 

"Yes. That's true. But Batman without Robin gets too dark. Even the darkest stories of Batman -- like 1986's seminal work, _The Dark Knight Returns_ had the brightest Robin, the elfin and charming Carrie Kelly. Frank Miller might be a crazy old man, but he got that right."

"I don't know..."

"Darkness for the sake of darkness isn't depth, Troy." 

Abed flopped closer to Troy. He was going to use the Batman voice, Troy could feel it. He could feel it coming.

“ **Be my Robin, Troy.** I know you’re not an orphan. Or an acrobat. Or an at-risk youth. Or a rich genius, but we can make it work.”

This was important to Abed. And sure, Greendale isn’t like Gotham (you know, besides the fact that one was a real place and the other definitely was not) and it wasn’t big on the sort of crimes that would require the attentions of a costumed vigilante. If the real world needed costumed vigilantes. Which it didn't. 

But.

Troy couldn’t let Abed fight Greendale’s shady underworld alone.

“Fine,” he said,”I’ll be your Robin. But I get to wear pants.”

“Sure. Sure. Sure. We won’t do the original Dick Grayson number — Although. Are you sure? Think carefully, Troy. Your legs are very nice, you shouldn’t be ashamed of them —”

“I’m _not_.”

“But we could get you a modified Tim Drake costume. Or maybe the one with the hood...”

Troy brightened at the mention of a hood, like Abed knew he would. He didn’t even tell him that Batman discouraged that sort of costuming choice in a serious crimefighter. He’d break it to him gently.

“But until then you could just wear this —” Abed pushed the FedEx package towards Troy, who accepted it reluctantly.

“Fine, but I’m not shaving my legs for this.”

“You don’t have to.”

(Good.)

Abed nodded. “I’ve also ordered industrial strength sheer pantyhose.”

“Flesh colored tights? C’mon man.”

“ _Sheer_.”

+

It was Annie who first noticed that something was wrong. She wondered if she ought to say something.

It was Jeff who said something. “Why is Troy and Abed wearing fetish gear to school?”

Shirley texted to Britta, “Pray 4 their souls.”

Britta texted back, “We’ve talked about this.”

No one told Pierce, who got upset about being ignored.

Dean Pelton wrote a single word in his diary entry for that day. It was: _MEOW!_

(Chang’s current whereabouts are unknown.”What a joke,” he was heard to say, before disappearing in a sickly green mist. The janitors have been notified about this. They assured us it was non-toxic.)

+

The second day in the careers of the Greendale Avengers —

No, the Greendale Caped Crusaders —

(Both Troy and Abed agreed that the term “crusaders” came with a lot of baggage.)

On the second day of Greendale’s own Dynamic Duo (yeah, it’s not perfect, but it’ll do) had already made a powerful impact on campus. They had prevented three people from throwing plastic bottles into the trashbin.

(Why do people do that? I mean, put plastic bottles into the trash when the recycle bin for plastics is right there.)

Batman cocked his head. He and Robin were crouched in the shadows, on the roof of the library. He wished the Greendale city planners had sprung for some moody gargoyles, to spruce things up a bit. But no, most of Greendale’s architecture was boringly flat and and gargoyle-free.

“Robin,” said Batman. Robin took off his ear-buds and stood to attention. “Yeah, Batman?”

“Have you noticed something unusual?”

“Besides us?”

Batman stared at him. Robin tried again. “Like what? Is anyone committing crimes? Is Leonard finally going to rob the cafeteria?”

(He wasn’t. Leonard was at home, trying to decide between DiGiorno Pizza & Cookies or Tony’s Crispy Crust Supreme. He would decide on neither of these things, opting instead for a cup of Easy Mac.)

“No, not Leonard. Have you noticed that we’re being observed?”  
Robin started in alarm. “We’re being watched?”  
“That’s what I just said.”

Robin frowned.

(Batdickery. They all fall for it in the end, kid.)

Robin swore under his breath. Batman nodded. “You hear that?”  
“Yeah. What is that?”  
“Someone’s providing painfully wry commentary on our activities.”

(Hey! I’m providing painfully funny commentary on your activities.)

Robin shook his head. “Not really.”

(Shows what you know.)

Batman narrowed his eyes and looked into the dark sky.

(For dramatic effect, mostly.)

“Stop that!” snapped Robin. “Who are you?”  
Batman said carefully, “What do you want?”

( I’m Oracle. I want to protect Greendale.)

“From what? People who don’t recycle? Jaywalkers?”

(There’s a storm coming, Mr. Nadir and Mr. Barnes. You just can’t see it. Because you’re inside or something. But I can. Because I’m outside. In the sky. Like a satellite, picking up transmissions you miss. And there is a storm coming.)

“That’s pretty cliched, don’t you think?”  
“I don’t know, Robin, she might have a point there.”  
“Dude, she knows our secret identities.”

(Your identities are safe with me, Robin.)

“How do we know that? She might be lying.”

(What makes you assume I’m a she?)

Batman spoke up. “The Oracle of Delphi, certainly the most famous oracle of the ancient world, was lead by a sybil — or priestess, called the Pythia—”  
“Oracle is a lady.”

(You can stay here and argue about what and who I am, or you could stop a burglary that’s going down on Fifth and Nicholas. Your choice.)

Robin scruffed his green pixie boots into the gravel. “We haven’t actually... Uh, stopped any actual crimes yet.”

Batman nodded.

(Do you want to?)

Batman and Robin looked at each other. “Yeah,” they said.

+

As it turned out, foiling the burglary wasn’t so much of a challenge. The would-be burglars were just a couple of high school sophomores trying to break into a store-front that had been shuttered due to the economic downturn. They were good and scared of their own shadows, and when a Bat-shaped shadow joined them, they ran for their lives.

“Does that count?” Robin emerged from the shadows, a swirl of color. Batman shrugged. “They didn’t break in. It counts.”

“Great. Let’s go home.”

+

The apartment was dark when they finally came in. Swiping off his cowl, Abed called, “Annie? Are you there?” Troy motioned to Abed to follow him to the door of Annie’s room. “Can we come in, Annie?”

He took a breath.

“OR SHOULD I SAY, ORACLE?”

The door of Annie’s room slammed open. She emerged, headset still attached. She hissed, “How did you know?”

“It was pretty easy,” said Abed.  
“Yeah, once you got around the fact that you are really good at surveillance, _what is up with that, Annie?_ ”

Annie shrugged. “My dad owns a security company. I grew up with this stuff.”

"Okay," Troy said, brows furrowed. "Why were you following us?" 

"You guys! You put on these costumes and run around, fighting crimes and ... You didn't even ask if I wanted to fight crime. _And I want to fight crime!_ "

Abed nodded. “You want in, good. We could be the … _Terrific Trio_.”

Now it was Troy’s turn to shrug. “I don’t know... A _brunette_ Batgirl? That’s not —” He choked at Annie quickly punched him in the gut. He went down like a stone. Abed stepped out of the way, hands up in surrender.

“I’ll be Oracle, thanks.”

(Attagirl.)


End file.
